Getting to work on the Tube (The London Underground)
can be quite an interesting journey. I’ve owned at least one car since
I was 18, and at one point owned three cars and a motorcycle. Taking
public transport to and from work every day was quite a culture shock.
One interesting little bit, and what I’d like to talk about today,
is Tube Platform Strategy. For those who don’t ride trains (or subways)
every day, the Platform is the area where travelers wait to
embark/disembark from the train. Given that we are talking about underground trains
here, each platform typically has 1 or 2 entrances or exits. These
exits lead to long hallways which take you to a stairway which takes
you to another long hallway which leads to a lift which stops at
another long hallway to an escalator which leads to another hallway
which takes you out of the tube station.
Now, given that the aforementioned long hallways are underground,
they are very narrow. If you also consider that this is Central London,
these cramped hallways are filled with approximately 8 million people
between the hours of 6am and 1am. Walking these lonely hallways can
take a very long time, and become very frustrating (Damned tourists!
Nobody wants to see your photos of you on an escalator!). You could
lose valuable time!
This is where Tube Platform Strategy comes in. You see, the goal here is to board a train in the approximate location where the exit will be at your destination station. For example, the exit at
Covent Garden station (Piccadilly Line, Eastbound) is approximately 2
cars up from the end of the train. Thus, when I board the Piccadilly
line at Earl’s Court, I make sure to board the train about 2 cars up
from the caboose (Do subways have Cabooses? Do the English have
Cabooses? This needs investigation!). Doing so will allow for a speedy
disembarkment from the train, granting me those precious seconds needed
to get in front of the crowd on my way out of the station.
Sounds easy so far, right? Well, it gets more complex when you have
to changer for different lines, have multiple lines stopping at one
platform, or know of the few secret exit/entrances at tube stations.
When changing lines, you have multple ‘exits’ to consider. You’ll
want to position yourself on your first train in a spot well suited for
the exit leading towards your next train. Then, the second train must be boarded in a manner advantageous to one’s exit at the next leg of their journey.
When you have multiple lines sharing the same platform – such as at
Embankment station Westbound, where the Circle line, District Line
(Richmond), District Line (Wimbledon), and District Line (Ealing
Broadway) all stop – you want to be very careful which train you board.
You could just get on the first Circle Line train that arrives, which
will at least get you headed in the right direction. However, you’ll
have to get off that train again in order to change for the proper
train. Is this what you really want? The next train could be more
crowded, could have a class of school-children, football hooligans,
vomiting drunks, or anything aboard! You will also have to re-think your platform strategy.
What’s better is to balance out how long you estimate waiting for your proper train with how long you
estimate it will take for you to arrive at your destination. If your
ultimate destination is Parson’s Green (on the Wimbledon branch of the
District Line), you want to either way at Embankment for a Wimbledon
train, or take the first avaialable District Line train towards your
destination. If the platform is especially crowded, it may be
worthwhile to see if there’s a train immediately behind the one you are
considering boarding (say, 1-2m behind).
Finally, my favorite part of the London Underground is the ‘hidden
entrances’. See, they have the tube stations set up in a manner that
supports crowd control. A popular platform will often have an exit
tunnel that leads directly to the escalator, rather than through a long
series of tunnels. This is to prevent too many people from crowding the
platform.
Since it’s preferable to have people crowd on the streets instead
of on the platform, you’ll often find hallways marked ‘Exit Only – Do
Not Enter’ Therein lies the secret! These tunnels will often lead
directly to the platform you seek, rather than the round-about path
they wish you to take.
One such path is at Liecester Square tube station, heading westbound
on the Piccadilly line. If you were to follow the signs, you would find
yourself walking through tunnels for 10 minutes as they direct you around the
platform and onto it from the back end. If you’re wise to their game,
you’ll duck into the ‘Do Not Enter’ hallway, and find yourself on the
desired platform a mere 15 paces later.
Go forth with this knowledge, my children. Only use it for good.
Browsing Posts in Thoughts & Ruminations
Before moving to London, I had nearly gotten rid of cash altogether.
I had my trusty Visa Debit card (issues by my bank and tied to my
checking account), along with a Visa Credit Card for emergencies or
large purchases. These cards were accepted nearly everywhere, from
grocery stores to restaurants to gas stations to clothing stores to
cinemas to even the cafeteria and coffee stand at work. I almost never
had cash in my wallet, except for rare occasions where I’d need to pay
a friend (or a friend paid me), or had to buy something from a street
vendor.
Then, I moved to London.
In the UK, they have the same debit system we had in the US. Out
here, your bank will issue you a debit card tied to your current
account. They even have a slightly more secure setup whereby you insert
your card into a reader to have a chip read, rather than swiping the
magnetic strip. Different mechanics, but same overall effect.
However, for whatever reason, far fewer places accept debit cards,
and are ‘cash only’. Some places will charge a card only if there’s a
minimum payment (usually around £5-10). These places exist in the US
too, but seem far more rare. I’m constantly asking to borrow money from
my coworkers when we go out to lunch… not because I’m hard up for
money, but because I don’t have any cash on me, only my debit card!
A very good example of this, is McDonald’s. When I first moved to
London, McDonald’s restaurants were cash only (I think they finally
joined us in the 21st century a few months back). As an American, that
completely boggles my mind. McDonald’s only accepts cash?!? Preposterous!
I think this is either partially caused by (or affects) the cash
machines. In the US, a completely ‘free’ ATM is very very rare, almost
unheard of. If the ATM itself doesn’t charge you $1.50 for withdrawals,
your bank will charge you to use another bank’s ATM. The only ‘free’
ATMs are located at your bank branches. As a member of a Credit Union
with only 3 branches in the state, that’s not an ideal solution.
In the UK, the vast majority of Cash Machines are free. All Cash
Machines operated by any of the big banks are free, neither the Cash
Machine’s owner nor your bank will charge you to use it. I’ve still
seen a few Cash Machine’s that do charge, but they’re usually located
inside a small corner store or something.
Cash Machines here in London almost always have a queue
(line). Even at my local corner store at 2am, there always seems to be
1 or 2 people waiting to get cash. This problem is very bad near the
office in Covent Garden. There’s only 1 cash machine anywhere within a
6-7 minute radius of Neal’s Yard. Rather unsurprisingly, there’s
typically a massive queue during lunch time (I’m talking a
Football-Stadium-ATM-At-Halftime line!).
Part of my aforementioned lunch-money problem stems from my Cash
Machine/ATM habits. As I mentioned earlier, it was very rare for me to
pull money out of an ATM in the US. When I did so, it was usually $20
or $40. I didn’t like carrying too much cash with me at one time. Here
in the UK, those kinds of habits leave you cashless quite quickly. I
brought this up to a couple friends, and they told me their average
withdrawels were £80-100 at a time! That explains why I run out of cash
so much quicker than they do.
So, for those of you that have graciously purchased my lunch on
several occasions over the past year, I encourage you to pester each
and every vendor you encounter who only accepts cash. It will make all
of our lives easier, I promise. Nothing could possibly go wrong with an
entirely cashless society!
One thing I’d learnt about before moving to London was the placement of the washer and dryer. Whilst browsing listings for flats, I saw several with photographs of what appeared to be an odd looking washing machine in the kitchen! Closer inspection proved that, yes, most washing machines in the UK are kept in the kitchen (where in the US they’re more likely to be found in the bathroom). In addition to this, Washer/Dryer combination machines are quite popular!
Warning: In this blog entry, I will make broad generalizations. I tend to do that a lot normally, but I think this blog entry will go above and beyond that, so I thought I’d post this warning beforehand.
Europeans in general are much much worse at lining up (or ‘queueing up’ as it’s called here in the UK) than Americans. I think the root of the problem is that people out here tend to be slightly more aggressive in their desire to get to the front, whereas Americans will go for politeness, even if they’re not particularly polite people.
An excellent example of this are the McDonalds restaurants out here. It may be that the only McDonalds I’ve been to have been in the heart of London (ergo, small, crowded, and busy), but the registers are all set up in a row on the counter. Customers approach the counter wheverever they think the queue is shortest, and queue up for that particular register. As is human nature, people rarely queue up in an orderly fashion. Some people try to hover between two lines (to get their food quicker), some people bunch up with their friends and form a blob as opposed to a line… you get the point.
Anyway, in this type of scenario back home, most people will maintain a thin veil of politeness. If a person has obviously been waiting longer, most people will defer to them and let them approach the counter first. Occasionally you’ll find an aggressive person who tries to squeeze their way to the front, but it’s actually the exception to the norm.
My experiences in Europe (both in the UK and on the continent) have been to the contrary. People seem extremely aggressive to get to the front as quickly as possible. Several times I’ve been waiting in a line and the person behind me will edge off to the side and start creeping forward, even getting past me and slightly in front of me. Should I delay for even a moment in heading up to the counter when called, this person will seize the opportunity for themselves.
This scenario also plays out when there is no clear line/queue, just a broad counter with several people waiting at various points. I used to work at a grocery store deli back in Seattle, and I saw this all the time. Believe it or not, most people (back home) were fairly polite and would indicate which person had been waiting at the counter the longest. Similar situations in Europe tend to end in whomever shouting their order first getting served first.
Another example is if a new register opens up next to one with a long line. Logic and politeness dictate that the 2nd person in the line should go to the new register (as they have been the ones waiting longest who have not yet been served). However, multiple times I’ve been in such a line when a new register opens up. What usually happens is that a person from the back of the line will sprint to the new register, past the people that have clearly been waiting longer, to order their food. Nothing illegal about that, but it’s something that would very likely get you yelled at in the US.
Perhaps what bugs me most about this is that I’m clearly not being aggressive enough when in a queue. I’ll often politely gesture to the person in front of me to enter the new line, only to find the 5 people behind me have jumped into it. Instead of pushing my way to the front, I’ll wait for for the clerk/cashier to call on the next person.
So, on one of my visits back to the states, if you ever find yourself in line with me and I elbow you in the back of the head and run to the front while you’re on the ground… you’ll understand why and perhaps show some forgiveness.
Mayonnaise is an interesting subject.
So, let me start this off by letting you all know that, in the US, I hate mayo. I put a very light coating of it on the bread of my sandwiches, but it’s only to “moisten” the sandwich really. It tastes pretty disgusting, so I keep the layer thin enough to not taste it. You know when you order a chicken sandwich from some fast food joint and it comes dripping in mayo? Ugh, I shuddered a bit just typing that.
Apparently, European mayonnaise is different from American mayonnaise (my coworkers think it has something to do with pasteurization of the eggs, but I digress). Out here, it’s quite common to use mayo in a lot more places than just on sandwiches. One of the most common usages is with Fries. Not so much in London, but in Europe more so. If you order Fries at a restaurant, you’re more likely to get mayonnaise to dip them in than ketchup.
On the surface, this sounds absolutely abhorrent. The thought of dipping my fries in American mayonnaise is absolutely disgusting. However, remember what I said in the last paragraph. European mayonnaise tastes different. It’s saltier, for one. I can’t describe the whole differences… but just take my word for it, it’s not disgusting.
Last weekend I went to Brussels (Belgium) with an American friend of mine. While there, I made sure to have some Frites (fries) with lots of mayo. It’s absolutely delicious! In the Netherlands, they’re specifically called Vlaamse Frites (http://www.flickr.com/photos/slice/105233256/).
Every time I mention this to a fellow American, they shudder with distaste and adamantly insist that they hate mayonnaise so there’s no possible way they could like it with their fries!
Well, I just wanted to take this moment to let you all know… it tastes different, you close minded jerkface! Try it out! You may like it, I know I do.
That is all.
Not so much words… but different phrases. Here are a few things I’ve learnt (Americans: that’s English for “learned”) from my time spent out here.
Are you alright? In America, one asks “are you alright?” only with the strict implication that you don’t look alright. The question is almost rhetorical, and really means “You don’t look well for some reason. What’s wrong?” In England, it’s the same thing as saying “How are you?” and is a common greeting. The first time my coworker asked “Hey Jay, are you alright?” as I walked into the office in the morning, I must have startled him by my “What? I’m fine, why do you ask?!?” response.
Is that Jay? (or it could be “Is it Jay?”, I’m not sure, and due to accents, it’s hard to tell) As an American, when you call a number, and someone you don’t know answers the phone, the typical query is “Hi, is Jay there?” or maybe “Hi, can I talk to Jay?” or something along those lines. The British equivelant is “Is that Jay?”.
Fanny In America, it’s a silly syonym for “butt”, used to describe the “Fanny Packs” that people like my grandfather still wear. In the UK, it’s a synonym for “pussy” (ie, vulgar slang for a “vagina”) and thus, not something you want to say in public.
Way Out I’m used to all the Exits being marked by the ubiquitous green “Exit” sign. In England, the phrase “Way Out” is just as common on signs, and means the same thing.
Toilet In America, they’re called Bathrooms (or maybe “Restrooms” or “Wash Rooms” as a slightly more polite term). Out here, the common term is “Toilet” ie; “Where are the toilets?” I’ve heard it called a “loo” a couple times, but that’s actually really rare. Also, I don’t think America has any of the completely exposed, outdoor urinals like some European cities do in busy areas. You haven’t lived until you’ve pissed into a metal column in the middle of the busy Oudezijds Voorburgwal (A street in Amsterdam’s Red Light District). Which is a great segue into…
Urinals In America, pronounced “YUR i nuls” In England, “yur EYE nuls”.
Mobile Phones “Cell Phones” same thing, slightly different term
Pay as you go In America, I’ve seen this more commonly phrased as “Pre Pay”
Take Away same as “Take Out”… ie “Eat in or take away?”
Z In American, pronounced “zee”, in pretty much the rest of the English speaking world, “zed”.
Floor Brush I had to buy a broom out here, I hadn’t a clue what they’re called! I searched for “broom”, and “sweeper” on www.argos.co.uk, and neither returned results (although they do now, hmmm). Turns out that “Floor Brush” is a common term.
Hobb The same as a “Stove” or “Range” or “Grill” (basically, the stove in the kitchen)
Pikey Ever watch Snatch? Remember Brad Pitts character, and the class of people he was from? (the weird gypsy like travevling people). They were referred to as “Pikeys” in the movie. One time, I (rather loudly) asked my coworkers in a busy restaurant “Are Pikeys real?” They all looked alarmed, shushed me, and glanced around nervously. Turns out it’s a racial slur along the same lines as “nigger” in offensiveness.
Ozzie, Kiwi, Saffa Australian, New Zealander, and South African (respectively). One odd thing compared to Seattle is that we have TONS of Ozzies and Kiwis here in London, which on the surface, doesn’t make sense. Seattle is a LOT closer, after all. Then you realize that they’re in the British Commonwealth, and thus don’t need a Visa to enter the UK.
Ground Floor In America, a multiple-story building has it’s floors named as thus (from the ground up) “1st floor”, “2nd floor”, “3rd floor”. In the UK, they’re “Ground Floor”, “1st Floor”, “2nd Floor”… so on and so forth. If you get in an English elevator (called “lifts”) and press “1″, you will not be taken to the ground floor. You will be taken to what an American considers the “2nd” floor.
Man, my flat here in London really sucks. I can’t wait for this 6 month contract to end so I can move.
1) The Water - I guess I’ve narrowed it down to having really hard water here. The shower stall is really tiny, so that’s already a little miserable. However, the Water in my flat is HORRIBLE.
2) The Dust – So, the landlord is re-modeling the house, so men are working most days. I knew this when I moved in. What i did NOT know was that everything gets caked in dust FAST. I think it has to do with all the drywall or something, but it gets dusty/dirty FAST in my place. This especially sucks with the hardwood floor. Any clothes left on the floor (which I do often) get “dust stains” on them immediately.
3) The Heat – My flat has a radiator in it. I have no idea how to use it (I think it’s controlled through the whole house?) Sometimes it gets really really cold in here, and I have no idea if I can even turn this heater on! (this one is partially my fault because I haven’t bothered to ask the landlord yet).
4) The Neighbors – Most other people in the house are quiet. The landlord, however, lives on the ground floor with his family. They’re Indian, and they cook Indian food a lot (which means the house reeks of spices all the time). Also, his children are annoying as hell. They yell and scream a lot, climb all up and down the stairs (one morning I didn’t lock my door and they actually opened my door and started to come in while I was sleeping!) and they play on the stairs. They haven’t been taught to get out of people’s way though. The staircases are really narrow, and they’ll play right at the top of them. They won’t move to let people walk by, but just sit there and stare at you. One time I nearly fell down the stairs lugging my huge suitcase because they wouldn’t move, so I had to try to climb over them.
All of this stuff doesn’t even cover my crappy internet connection, which is making my time here very miserable. 
My girlfriend and I watch Law & Order a lot. For some reason, certain channels air it almost non-stop, and the show has an odd, addicting quality. I really enjoy the original L&O, partially enjoy L&O:SVU, and don’t really like L&O:CI.
Lately, I’ve been getting angry at certain episodes of SVU. Last night was one of them, which prompted me to write up this blog entry.
I’m sure many of you have read my rants on Men’s Rights. It’s a fairly unknown concept, as Men have been mostly dominant for thousands of years. However, I’ve really been getting into this lately… and this show strikes a nerve with me.
In last night’s episode, a sorority girl was “date raped”. She was drugged with some chemical at a party, and had sex with a frat boy that she had known previously. Here’s the twist… the frat boy did not drug her, nor did he even know she was drugged. Her sorority sisters drugged her to get back at her for something. All the guy knew was that a girl who had flirted with him previously was now at a party and flirting with him. Therefore, he pursued and had sex with her. Thus, he was charged with rape.
The Prosecutor stated that she intended to aggressively go after the guy, even though everyone acknowledged that he didn’t know she was drugged and was basically innocent. While on the stand, she line of questioning was something like the following…
Attorney: “Did she actually say yes to you having sex with her?”
Frat Boy: “Well, no. But she kissed me first, and she never said anything against it!”
Attorney: “So she never actually gave you permission for sex?”
Frat Boy: “No, but she was all over me!”
Attorney: “So you had sex with her without her permission?”
Frat Boy: “Uhhh… ?”
(I don’t know about you guys, but I never thought to obtain a written contract stating their willingness before I’ve had sex with any of my past partners. I’ll be more dilligent in the future)
Let’s go back to another episode I saw. A man had been convicted of raping this 16 year old girl and was in jail while the investigation continued. The only evidence up to this point was that she claimed it was rape. He admits that they had sex, but says that it was consentual. He kept pleading his innocence to the uncaring and unbelieving police, as he was being beaten and raped every day in prison as a child molester. Eventually, the plot showed that the “16 year old victim” was really a 20 year old con artist, trying to sue a hotel for her rape. The police began the process of freeing the suspect… but Oops! Too late! He had already been beaten to death in prison! Oh well, good thing we threw that man in jail! He’s just a man, better that he be raped and killed than risk that some day he may rape someone!
While this is just a fictional television show, the situation it portrays more or less exists in our day, and it completely pisses me off and terrifies me. There exists such an “anti-male” bias in court systems that it terrifies me that some day I ever have to go to court against a woman in any sort of situation.
It also pisses me off to no end that rape is such an evil action, but only against a woman. In fact, raping a man is comical and even accepted by our society and government. Want proof? Just watch some TV or Movies. The best example I can think of is a recent movie I saw, School for Scoundrels. In it, a bunch of men attended a school where they were taught to act more aggressively to obtain what they want. The teachers assistant was a very large man named Lescher, and a running joke throughout the movie was that he was raping the students and they didn’t want to talk about it. This was a joke in the movie! If it was a woman that was raped, would this be at all humorous? Of course not, because rape is ok as long as the victim is a man!
Another example is the thought of rape in the prison system. Rapist are pretty much universally despised. Although there are official efforts to prevent prison rape, many people working for the legal system accept prison rape as an accepted part of the punishment. We are endorsing rape as an official punishment, in addition to the sentenced punishment. Why bother sending them to prison? Just send them in a room with a large police officer to have at it for a couple hours and then send them home? Maybe we should make it pay-per-view or sell it on the internet? L&O:SVU is a good example of this too, as the police officers continually make comments to the criminals they catch about how they’re going to be beaten and raped in prison.
This show in particular is really driving me nuts. I enjoy most episodes, but every once in a while they air one like the above. It saddens me greatly that this show (and parts of society as a whole) simply view men as future-rapists and criminals and women are nothing more than victims-waiting-to-be.
